


Family

by seki



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2539805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seki/pseuds/seki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you've always loved someone who's taken, sometimes it's easier just to accept that you're never going to be loved back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> This owes a big debt to Kaori Ekuni's novel Twinkle Twinkle, which is one of the most Niou/Yagyuu-ish books I've ever read (especially towards the end). Nearly none of the stuff that happens in this fic actually happens in that novel, but, well, *I* can see how I got from that to this, at least. Ekuni's a much better writer than I am, of course, and her similes are glorious and evocative and her relationships are wonderfully complicated. Read her stuff if you get the chance.
> 
> Additional warning: I'm not tagging pairings, sorry, it's too spoilery and tbh I spent most of the time writing this being kind of unsure how it was going to end up myself.
> 
> Additional additional warning: pregnancy and complications that might arise from that.

As soon as the door slid closed behind the broker, Yagyuu leaned forward.

"I'm sorry," he said to the young lady he'd been brought here to meet. "I'm not actually intending to get married."

Yumiko-san looked surprised, and then smiled wryly, which transformed her rather nondescript features into something much prettier. "Oh, thank goodness, me neither. But my mother will insist I attend these things."

"Mine also." Yagyuu smiled reassuringly. "I'm glad we understand one another."

Yumiko nodded, still wry, and then held up a finger, as if caught by a thought. "Ah -- would you mind if we marked each other as yes for now? And then we can turn each other down after the second meeting, of course. My mother is getting very impatient with my string of no responses, but I don't want to risk saying yes to someone who might go through with it."

Yagyuu considered that. It was a clever thought; _his_ mother would certainly be thrilled to see her son appear willing to proceed, even if only for a week or so. "That would be acceptable. Thank you, Yumiko-san."

"Thank you, Hiroshi-san."

\--

"It's great. Really gritty, though, how's your tolerance for blood these days?"

"Better than yours, as ever."

Niou grinned at Yagyuu, and took a long pull from his beer bottle. They met in this bar two or three times a week, about halfway between Yagyuu's office and Niou's flat. The bar had terrible beer but wonderful food, and it played music at a volume that accommodated conversation, and the staff knew them by name and it was a _comforting_ ritual by now.

"Well, it's not _clean_ blood, it's all--" and Niou waved his hand around airily. "Fists and nosebleeds and guts."

"Unlike anything I'd have seen before in the hundreds of movies you've made me sit through before, I'm sure."

"Yup." Niou grinned again. "I might go see it again, if you wanna come with. Don't think Saki'd go again."

Yagyuu took that as the cue it was. "How _is_ your wife?"

Niou pulled a sour face, and set his beer down carefully. "Ah, eh. You know. We fight. It's one of those times."

"I see." Saki wasn't prone to arguing unnecessarily. Yagyuu wondered what Niou'd done to upset her.

Niou stared at his beer, looking rueful. "Ah, we'll be fine. Six years it'll be, in a month. Not too bad, huh?"

"No, not bad at all." Yagyuu swirled the vodka round in his own glass. "I went to an omiai yesterday, actually."

"Shit, what?"

"You know, an arranged meeting so--"

"I know what an omiai is, you pedantic idiot. Why the hell would you go to one?"

Yagyuu shrugged. "My mother, mostly."

"Oh." Niou's shoulders, which had hunched up in shock, suddenly relaxed as if that had been the right answer. "Fuck. I can't imagine you married."

Yagyuu frowned, a little insulted -- and slightly alarmed. "Why not?"

"You just… you're sort of a cold fish, that way, I guess? You've never seemed to care about love or marriage."

"Is that so?" Yagyuu thought about it. "It's not been a priority, I suppose. But I've had girls before."

"Huh. I can't remember you ever dating, even." Niou took another swig. "Arranged marriage, really?"

"We'll see."

"Imagine us then, two married old men at the izakaya all the time. Your new wife'd better be okay with that."

Yagyuu laughed. "I'll pick someone at least as tolerant as Saki-chan, yes." He glanced up at the clock. "Speaking of that, though, if I don't send you home sober and soon, she'll rip me apart next time I come over."

Niou nodded, and picked up his beer. "Thursday good for you?"

"Should be."

\---

Niou'd gotten married almost five years previously, barely a month out of high school, to the girl he'd dated all through the last year of school. It hadn't quite been an elopement, but Niou's parents had definitely disapproved of the whole thing. Yagyuu'd been best man at the small signing ceremony that had taken place. It had felt like a romantic, rebellious sort of wedding, shockingly adult but reckless and crazy.

The wedding and the speeches afterwards were a cosy, fond memory of his friendship with Niou -- and of the friendship that had developed with Saki too, come to that.

The stag night, a few evenings prior to the wedding, had been quite sedate as these things went. A few of them had gotten mildly drunk at Niou's tiny new apartment, before boldly heading out into Roppongi to try and continue drinking. All of them under the legal age, but it had been a charmed night and the bars hadn't asked for proof. They'd all gotten a little drunker, and a little silly. Yagyuu'd told Niou that he was like a brother, or a twin, or something. Niou'd laughed, and said Yagyuu was more like the other great love of his life and always would be. Yagyuu'd flushed with delight, and told him he was a dork and that he hoped Saki knew what she was getting into by marrying him.

And that was as much as Yagyuu had said, at the time.

He'd fantasised about that night, about how he could have done things differently, for _years_. What would have happened if he'd managed to express what he _wanted_ when he looked at Niou. 

In his fantasies, he'd _confessed_ in a dozen ways, pleading with Niou not to marry Saki. And in his fantasies, Niou was… sometimes he was shocked. More often he wasn't. _I've known all along_ , he might say, or _I always hoped_ , and then they'd end up somewhere -- a bathroom stall, a love hotel, back in Niou's apartment, an alleyway, anywhere -- frantic with need, with Niou gasping and laughing his delight into Yagyuu's neck, Yagyuu's mouth, Yagyuu's spine, Yagyuu's pillow, always enthusiastic and so vivid in Yagyuu's imagination that Yagyuu could practically smell the sweat and heat and lust.

He couldn't help it, kept obsessing, layered though it was with guilt and shame. What would really have happened if he hadn't been a coward, that night?

No, Yagyuu didn't _date_ anyone. It wouldn't be fair to them. How could they compare to years of longing? It was better to sate his needs without bringing emotions into it.

\---

"Well, Hasegawa-san," said Yagyuu's mother, smiling across cheerfully at Yumiko's mother, "Perhaps we should leave our lovebirds to themselves for a minute, hm?"

"Ah yes, Yagyuu-san, a wonderful idea."

The broker ushered the two matrons out, and slid the door closed behind her.

Yagyuu frowned across the table at Yumiko. "I thought we agreed just two meetings?"

"Ah! Sorry, but it's been such a relief, this last week. Do you really mind a third meeting?" Yumiko glanced over towards the door. "It would make your mother happy too."

"I fear we might give them too much hope for an actual marriage, if we continue." Yagyuu pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'll accept a third meeting only if you assure me we can break it off then, before they start discussing contracts."

"Yes, very well." Yumiko sighed, and then propped her elbows on the table, cupping her jaw with one hand to support it. It was an incredibly unladylike posture, and she was wrinkling her already-rumpled furisode further, but Yagyuu suspected that she wouldn't welcome having that pointed out. "I'm just so tired of hearing how I'm such a disappointment. I'd almost agree to get married if it would stop her nagging."

"I'm afraid I'm not willing to help you out to that extent."

"No, I know," she said, almost crossly. "And I wouldn't, in fact. But still."

Yagyuu nodded, and looked down at himself. "Well. Let's go please our parents for another week, then."

\---

"How's the omiai stuff going?"

"I've arranged a third meeting with one girl," said Yagyuu, mostly to see what Niou's reaction would be.

Niou's eyes widened. "Congratulations. What's she like?"

"She and I -- we understand each other, I think?" That, at least, was the truth. "My mother's delighted, of course."

"I bet." Niou signalled to the barman for another round, and then he pulled an exaggeratedly thoughtful face. "Well. Huh. I guess you might be married soon, then?"

"Let's not jump the gun, hm? It's just a third meeting."

"I bet your mother's drawn up the contracts already, c'mon. I can't see her letting you wriggle out if she thinks she can get you respectably paired off." Niou sniffed, and leant back in his seat expansively. It was a hot day, and the air conditioning in the izakaya didn't seem to be functioning very well; Niou'd undone the top button of his shirt and Yagyuu could see a faint sheen of sweat on the exposed clavicle. It caught the light, and kept drawing his eye back.

Yagyuu yanked his gaze upwards. "Mm. I'm fairly sure Yumiko is as cautious as I am about this."

"Mm." Niou smirked. "Lemme know when I need to have my best man speech ready for."

"You mean you don't have it all prepared already? Shame on you."

"Oh, I do," Niou said. "I just need to polish it, that's all. And arrange a suitably embarrassing set of events for your stag night, so I've got more ammunition."

"Ah, now, I see, you just want an excuse to go to a strip club or something."

"Well, I missed out for _my_ stag. This had better make up for it, that's all I'm saying."

\---

Every couple of weeks, Yagyuu would be invited over for dinner at Niou's apartment. Sometimes, in winter, Saki would cook something -- she was a good cook, and she seemed to appreciate the fact that he liked the food she made. In summer, however, Niou's apartment was far too warm to use the oven, so they'd generally end up with cold noodles or -- if Yagyuu had persuaded her it was his turn to provide food -- store-bought sushi trays, which they'd eat on the floor by the balcony, doors flung open to allow as much of a breeze as possible.

"Masaaaan, the sink's leaking again," Saki called from the kitchen.

Niou sighed, and rubbed at the back of his neck as if irritated by the reminder. "Mm, I'll look at it, okay."

"It really needs resealing, all around the edge -- Hiroshi, does this tea you brought need steeping longer than usual?"

"No, I don't think so. Come sit, your husband can bring the food through for once."

Niou's apartment was cramped, and always felt a little overfull with the three of them in it, and it was in a constant state of disrepair that Niou and Saki were both always griping about and could never quite afford to do anything about. Yagyuu loved the apartment, battered tatami mats and all; it felt like a _home_ in the way his own place had never managed, like the warmth of Niou and Saki's marriage had brought the place to life.

He shifted over a little as Saki knelt next to him with her tray, and helped her move the tea over. "Did Masan tell you I had an omiai?"

"Yes, he did," Saki slid the teapot onto the table, and then she frowned at Yagyuu. "I'm quite annoyed with him, though. If I'd known you wanted setting up, I have tons of single girl friends, you know."

"Ah, don't blame me," said Niou, re-emerging from the kitchen. "I didn't know either."

"It's true, he thought I was a cold loveless fish," Yagyuu said, less at Saki than at Niou, who stuck his tongue out in response.

The sushi had probably not been in the fridge quite long enough, but there was enough of a breeze from the window that Yagyuu felt quite comfortable, the hot muggy warmth of summer rendered tolerable. They talked about whether it might be cooler to go up into the mountains one weekend; Yagyuu could rent a car, Saki suggested, and they could find a nice onsen somewhere if it wasn't too expensive. Or perhaps they could camp out, even. Anything to escape the heat.

"This girl I'm meeting again," Yagyuu admitted, quietly, much later, after they'd finished eating, after Niou had fetched out a bottle of cold gin, after they'd all grown listless and loose-limbed from the warmth and the alcohol. "She doesn't want to get married, really. But agreeing to another meeting stops her mother nagging, so we're pretending."

Niou looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Ah, that's -- you're not going to marry her, then."

"No, of course not." Yagyuu leant back against the edge of the shelf behind him, feeling the familiar press of it across his shoulders. "I'm not actually looking for a wife, but my mother's really… well. Insistent."

Saki made a thoughtful noise. "What set her off? Just you hitting the right age in her head?"

"Mm, I suppose. It's easier to go than not to, at any rate."

Saki and Niou pulled identical sympathetic faces at him, and then Saki sighed and downed the rest of her glass in one elegant motion before standing up. "I have to open the store tomorrow -- Hiroshi, stay over, there're blankets and all. Don't come to bed too late, Masan."

Niou looked up at his wife at that, and Yagyuu could almost see the wordless discussion they had -- Niou was being pressured to stay and talk to Yagyuu about the omiai, and Niou wasn't entirely happy about the prospect.

"I'll crash out here too, that way I won't wake you," Niou said, softly, and Saki shrugged in acceptance.

"Fine."

This too was familiar; lying on the floor side-by-side in the dark, on the old tatami mats that had been worn soft and yielding with age. From here, Yagyuu could see out of the balcony window, the sky outside tinted purplish-yellow by the streetlights that threw golden light across Niou's ceiling. They never bothered closing the curtains in the summer; it just felt too stifling, and the light wasn't bright enough to prevent them sleeping. 

"Why'd you pretend you were serious about the omiai, before?" asked Niou, quietly.

"Because you called me a cold fish."

There was a pause, then Niou chuckled. "I take it back, alright. But fuck, don't marry some girl you don't know. Let Saki fix you up, she has nice friends. Some of the girls at her work are pretty hot."

Yagyuu gazed up at the ceiling. "Mm. I don't think I want that, either, but tell her thank you for the offer."

"Alright." There was another pause, then Niou huffed out a sigh. "We've been talking about having a kid."

Yagyuu rolled onto his side, to face Niou, confused. "You can't afford to have a child."

"I know that, but she really doesn't seem to see it that way." Niou's eyes were half-closed and almost black in the yellowed half-light. "And this place wouldn't work for three. So… we were wondering about moving home."

"Oh." Out of Tokyo, perhaps, to where they could afford a nicer place, more room. Away from Yagyuu. He swallowed. "I… where to?"

"I don't know, yet. But, look, how would you feel about moving in somewhere with us? I mean, if it was all of us, we could get somewhere better, right?"

Oh. That… Yagyuu's heart convulsed, and he couldn't tell if he was happy or terrified at the idea, especially if they were trying for a baby. "I… wouldn't that be weird?"

"Would it? You know you'll be like a second dad to any kid of ours, anyway. And it doesn't sound like you're going to set up a household of your own. And it.. I think we'd like living with you."

Yagyuu stared at Niou, speechless.

Niou rolled onto his back. "Just… think about it, okay?"

\---

Yagyuu went out the next night, to a little bar he'd found in Shinjuku that was full of similarly-minded salarymen in their neat ties and starched shirts. He let a boy -- smooth-faced, sharp-eyed, perhaps not really even old enough to be drinking in bars like this -- persuade him to buy a drink for him, and then followed him to the nearby love hotel at a discreet, disownable distance. The boy fucked him against the door of the rented room, after some preliminary fumblings and agreements, Yagyuu's face pushed against the smooth cold wood, his trousers still around his ankles and his shirt still on. It was a good fuck, as these things went; the boy teasing Yagyuu to a slow and toe-curling climax before pounding satisfyingly into him.

The boy left soon afterwards, a generous 'taxi fare' fattening his wallet, while Yagyuu lay on the bed and waited for his legs to feel like they'd support him again.

If he lived with Niou and Saki, would they find out about this? That sometimes he went out, that he hired escorts, that he let strange men suck him off in toilets or fuck him against hotel doors? That he'd paid men and women for sex? That he'd once been bold enough to go to a sopu he knew, had hired two girls at once, to rub against him and each other with oils and foam until all three of them were shuddering wrecks? Niou and Saki thought he was cold about girls, and by extension presumably about sex, but the truth was that Yagyuu _loved_ sex, in as many combinations and configurations as he could manage. It made him feel like every nerve in his body was alive, made the stress of his mundane management job recede and the world seem worthwhile.

Masturbation, by contrast, always brought him back to thoughts of Niou. Getting himself off with strangers, especially paid ones, was a lot less guilt-inducing.

Could he really live with Niou and Saki? Would it drive him crazy to be that close?

\---

"I'm sorry," Yagyuu said calmly. "I don't wish to arrange a further meeting."

Yumiko scowled at him, from across the table, but -- in front of the broker and their mothers -- she couldn't really argue. "I'm sorry to hear that. I thought we were well-suited."

"It's nothing to do with your suitability. I'm merely not interested in pursuing a marriage at this time." Yagyuu turned to Yumiko's mother. "Hasegawa-san, my apologies and best wishes for a future match for your daughter."

She nodded, stiffly, and then got slowly to her feet. "Thank you. Come, Yumiko."

Yumiko glared at Yagyuu as her mother tugged her out of the room, and he smiled blandly in response. The marriage broker scurried after them, hurriedly.

" _Hiroshi_ ," his mother said, her tone stern. "What are you doing?"

"Mother, she didn't want to marry me either, I assure you." Yagyuu tugged at the cuffs of his shirt. "Do you honestly think I'd be a good husband to anyone?"

His mother looked confused. "Why wouldn't you be? You have a good job and you're a good man."

"I don't think that's really enough." Yagyuu glanced over towards the door. "I don't think I'd be a kind husband, on the whole. I'm impatient, and demanding, and I have strange habits, and the idea of living with some woman I barely know is stifling."

"You'd adapt, Hiroshi. You can't want to live alone forever."

"No. Niou-kun and his wife asked me if I would consider renting an apartment with them. I'm tempted."

His mother tipped her head to one side, assessingly.

"They want to try for a child, and they can't afford more space alone," Yagyuu added. "And I think I could live with them."

"...and what if you meet someone? What then?"

"It wouldn't necessarily be permanent, mother. But until they're more financially stable, it makes sense."

She rolled her eyes, then made a gesture of defeat. "It's your life. But please let me arrange some more meetings for you? I would like grandchildren some day."

"You _know_ any child of Niou's is going to be nearly as--"

"It's _not_ the same, Hiroshi."

\---

"It's a bit… bigger than I thought."

Yagyuu glanced over his shoulder at Niou, who looked vaguely disconcerted by the house that Yagyuu'd arranged to see, in a quiet backstreet. The agent had shown them around, and then had discreetly withdrawn outside to allow them to confer. "We'll need the space if you two are going to have a child."

"You _do_ remember that Saki and I need to be able to afford this place too," Niou said, his tone deceptively light.

"I do, but that's why I'm paying two-thirds of the rent instead of a third."

Niou's jaw dropped, and he shook his head furiously. "Uh-uh, no way, that's not nearly--"

"You guys will have one bedroom. I'll have another. Even split so far, right? The rent for the extra bedroom is… let's call it a gift from me, to your future child."

"We haven't even started _trying_ for one yet."

"Once we move in, you can." Yagyuu smiled. "I'm going to be blunt; I don't want to live in something as tiny as the space we could afford if we split it your way. My job pays far better than either of yours and I am going to have fewer expenses than new parents will. Let me cover it, please?"

Niou looked mulish. "Fuck you."

" _Niou_."

"You know I can't say no. Saki'll love this place." Niou walked up to the glass door leading out into the yard behind the house; a tiny, concreted patch of ground with a washer and dryer stacked up in one corner. He pressed his nose up against the glass. "It feels like home."

\---

The girl Yagyuu had hired wasn't quite as pretty as the photo on the website had suggested, and reminded Yagyuu of Saki just enough to give him weird guilty shivers of association. On another day, in another mood, he might have let the resemblance add a frisson, might perhaps have had her suck him off while imagining himself as Niou, to see if that did it for him.

Today, though, all he'd wanted was one last indulgence before moving out and into his new life, where he wouldn't be able to bring people _home_ for sex. Something uncomplicated, on his own territory, while he still had it. He fucked the girl quickly and without preamble, on his sofa, before paying her for the full hour and sending her away early.

It left him feeling dissatisfied. He stalked around the flat, picking up objects and wondering if he should have a clearout of useless or redundant junk before the movers turned up and packed everything up for the new place. In the end, he threw on a coat and went out to his bar in Shinjuku.

The next day, as he helped Niou and Saki load their boxes into his rented car, Niou elbowed him in the ribs. "You okay? You look sort of wiped."

"Couldn't sleep," Yagyuu said, yawning and then wincing at the pain that spiked through him as a result.

"What's up? Toothache?"

Yagyuu shrugged. He couldn't admit the truth; the man he'd sucked off the previous night had been both large and distinctly _forceful_ , shoving his cock deep into Yagyuu's mouth and nearly choking him. Yagyuu hadn't exactly minded, but it had left his mouth feeling _raw_ and swollen. "Bit my tongue, I guess. I'll be fine."

"Mm. Should we pour coffee down you before we set off? Last chance to try the hideous double espresso at the place around the corner."

"No. Let's find a place near our new home, instead. Start our new bad habits as we mean to go on."

Niou's grin in response to that made Yagyuu's heart flutter, and he ducked his head into his chest and went back to collect another box.

\---

Four months in their new home, and Saki wasn't pregnant yet.

"It's really getting to her," Niou admitted, to Yagyuu, in their old bar. "We _are_ , uh, trying."

"I should hope so," Yagyuu said dryly. "Why do you think I'm absenting myself so frequently?"

Niou wrinkled his nose, apologetically. "Mm. Sorry."

Yagyuu shrugged. It was actually fine by him; Saki or Niou would make some lightly-veiled hint about wanting alone time, and then Yagyuu would go out and find someone to distract himself with for a while. And he'd return to find Saki and Niou both looking sort of sheepishly _cosy_ , flushed with contentment and optimism and oblivious to his own satiety.

It didn't sting as much as he'd feared, living with them both and knowing they were happily _together_ in every sense of that word. He had barely fantasized about having sex with Niou in months; his brain had guiltily conjured up a few alternate daydreams about divorce or widowerhood, but Yagyuu couldn't quite deal with what that would mean about Saki, and he mostly forced himself out of those reveries before they'd begun.

But the _desire_ he'd always felt was still there, and it found new ways to haunt him. There'd been one night when he'd left his door ajar and had woken to hear faint, suppressed gasps and wet noises from the bedroom Niou and Saki shared. He'd padded quietly out into the corridor, hating himself a little, and had leant on the wall next to their bedroom, palming himself gently and unhurriedly as their muffled noises sped up. He'd pictured them together, working from the noises; he imagined Saki riding Niou, one hand across her own mouth for silence and one between her own legs, with Niou clutching at her hips and thrusting up into her. Niou had groaned frustratedly at some point; the bed had creaked as if they were changing position, and then the noises had resumed, slower and punctuated with deep, throaty moans that sounded as if Saki's face was buried in the pillow.

Yagyuu had come, stutteringly, into his pyjama pants, listening to Niou and his wife _fucking_ , and then had crept back into his own bed and slowly worked himself back up into hardness and a sharper, almost painful second orgasm that had left him ashamed of himself.

All in all, it was probably better when they told him to clear out for the evening. Wanting and fantasizing about _both_ of them was as bad as wanting just one of them, in the long run.

"It's only been four months," Yagyuu said. "It won't happen immediately."

"Four months and… honestly, the idea of a baby seems to really have gotten her going," said Niou, with a rueful grin. "If this goes on much longer I'm not sure I'll be, uh, up to the task."

"Oh no, too much sex with your wife, what will you do," said Yagyuu in a deadpan tone.

"Heh, alright, yes, I shouldn't complain." Niou took a swig of his beer. "Speaking of wives, is your mother hassling you still?"

"She hasn't stopped." Yagyuu sighed. "I was supposed to go to something last week, but thankfully the girl cancelled last-minute."

"Mm, well, a friend of Saki's needs a date for something -- wanna take a pretty girl to a banquet? Might make your mother back off for a while."

\---

Given everything else in Yagyuu's life, he shouldn't have been particularly surprised when the friend of Saki's turned out to be a very familiar and displeased-looking young woman in a furisode with crumpled sleeves.

" _Wonderful_ ," he said, through gritted teeth, as he bowed politely and offered his arm to take her into the hall.

"I swear I didn't arrange this," Yumiko muttered under her breath, as she took her place next to him. "You're friends with Saki's husband?"

"I _live_ with Saki and Masaharu."

She could, at least, walk elegantly in geta. Yagyuu led her carefully up the large staircase, and she dipped her head towards him. "Saki-chan and I went to school together."

"Is that so."

She hummed. "Our parents are going to think we're reconsidering, you know."

"That is what I'm concerned about, yes."

"Perhaps we _should_ reconsider."

Yagyuu glanced down at her, horrified.

"Think about it," Yumiko said, unruffled. "We both have no interest in each other as actual marriage partners. I wouldn't make any demands on you, nor you on me. And it would stop the questions."

Yagyuu stopped, dead, in the middle of the entrance to the banquet hall, yanking her so she had to stop too. "From our parents, perhaps. But I live with Saki and Masaharu, remember. If you think you and I could live together with them, without making our _friends_ very confused and curious, then I think you're dumber than you look."

" _Hiroshi-kun_ , we're in the way."

"So? Drop this idea, right now, or I will turn around right now and you can proceed dateless."

"Fine, fine," she hissed. "Spend the rest of your life being a third wheel and a disappointment. It's your funeral."

He gripped her arm, angrily -- _third wheel_ cut a little too close for comfort -- but led her into the hall without further comment. The evening passed too slowly for his taste, but his mother's delight in hearing that he'd accompanied Yumiko to another event was, he grudgingly admitted, reward enough to make up for it.

\---

Niou had a surprisingly wide range of useful house-and-appliance-fixing skills, presumably from having spent so long in a flat that needed constant maintenance just to be livable. Which meant that, where Yagyuu would just call the landlord and ask for a repair to be made, Niou would plunge in and try to fix it himself.

Right now, Niou was frowning over the light fixture attached to the built-in mirror over the bathroom sink. It had never worked, and Niou had become convinced it just wasn't connected correctly. As a result, there were a number of little screws neatly stacked up on the edge of the sink, along with various bits of trim, and Niou was trying to pry the fluorescent tube out. It was fascinating, watching him puzzle it out, and made Yagyuu wish -- as he often did -- that Niou'd been able to attend university and get a job which made better use of his intelligence than the basic data entry that seemed to make up most of Niou's working day.

"Nrgh," Niou pronounced, then turned to Yagyuu, and gestured vaguely with the tool in his hand. "Fuck it, actually, there's another screw at the back I think, can't get at it with this thing. Can you run up and get the other screwdriver set out of the drawers by my bed? Little solid box, about the size of your palm, silver."

"Sure."

Yagyuu heard Niou shout something from the bottom of the stairs just as he got to the drawers.

"What--" he called back, just as he pulled open the drawers on the left side of the bed.

Niou, panting from running up the stairs, stuck his head into the room. "I said, the ones on the--"

Yagyuu looked down into the drawer. Several rather intimate and unmistakable items were lined up inside. Oh. _Fuck_. He slammed it shut, sure he must have flushed bright red.

"--the, the other side," finished Niou, himself an interesting shade of scarlet. "Shit."

Yagyuu carefully took a step back from the drawers, and then another. "Uh. The other side."

"Yes." Niou shook his head. "Um. I'll be downstairs."

Yagyuu found the screwdrivers, resisted the urge to look in the first set of drawers again, and then went down to hand the little silver case to Niou, who was still very pink and who seemed determined to ignore everything except the task of fixing the light.

"That should do it," he said, after he'd used one of the tiny, slim tools to unscrew another part, and then he smoothly slid the tube out. "Mm. Yeah, the wire's not plugged in correctly here, y'see?"

Yagyuu peered at the gap, leaning in, unable to see what the hell Niou was talking about. "Okay."

Niou fumbled with the wires, as if his usual dexterity had suddenly failed him, and then he lowered his hands and closed his eyes. "Fuck it. Look. Upstairs, what you saw--"

"None of my business."

"No, but--" Niou opened his eyes again, and turned to face Yagyuu. "Alright. Let me finish this up in peace, go on, shoo. I'm gonna be useless with you watching me, right now."

Yagyuu, already uncomfortable enough, backed out of the bathroom with a nod of agreement. "I think I'll, er, go out, actually."

"Fine. But tomorrow? We're going for a drink, after work. Non-negotiable."

\---

"Right," said Niou, once he had drunk one of his two beers with an amount of haste that Yagyuu thought was probably a little unnecessary. "About yesterday, what you saw."

"We really don't have to talk about it," Yagyuu said. "Honestly." He centred his own beer bottle on the placemat, carefully. "Just--you do know you won't get her pregnant with those, right?"

Niou stared at him for a moment, then snorted. The joke did seem to make him relax significantly, thankfully, though he was definitely blushing. "Shut _up_. They're not for her, anyway."

Yagyuu, who had spent most of the previous evening desperately _not_ thinking about exactly what role those particular toys had in Niou and Saki's sex life, had a sudden vivid image of Saki fucking Niou into the bed with the largest of the range. " _Oh_." He coughed, and took a sip of his beer. "Well, you can't get her pregnant doing it _that_ way around, either."

"Ha ha." Niou leant forward. "Look, I'm not actually ashamed. It's just… embarrassing for you to have seen them, that's all. But I'd rather talk it out than let it hang awkwardly over us."

"Ah." Yagyuu took another sip of his beer, and wondered how someone like Niou even found out he liked being fucked that way. "Well, uh. I'm not sure talking is making it much less awkward."

Niou shrugged. "Worth a shot."

After a few more minutes of silently drinking their beer, Yagyuu cleared his throat. "I. Uh. So, Saki doesn't mind it?"

"No," said Niou, and he flushed again. "It was her idea, first, in fact."

"I see." Yagyuu glanced up at Niou, then back at his drink. "Had you, before you and she did that, ever, um--"

"Yes."

Yagyuu's eyes flicked back up, confused. What question did Niou think he was saying yes to, exactly?

"I mean, yes, I'd done that, before Saki and I ever got together." Niou's flush of embarrassment had mostly faded, now. "That's what you mean, right?"

"Really?"

"With -- well, it doesn't much matter. A guy, anyway." Niou looked over towards the bar, and signalled the barman for more drinks. "Which Saki knows about, and which is why she wondered, and why she asked, and… well."

Yagyuu bit at his lip. "I see. Um. Well, since we're sharing. I sleep with guys too, sometimes."

Niou's eyes snapped back to Yagyuu, and he smiled, as if relieved by the admission. "Oh, guys too? And you pay for them like the girls?"

Ah. "You know about that?"

"You lent me your laptop the day after we moved into our house, and there were a couple of escort sites in your history." Niou shrugged. "I'm nosy, you know that. Is that really what you're into, random strangers?"

"It's less complicated." Yagyuu leant back in his seat. "I pay most of the time, and sometimes I just get lucky at bars. Nobody makes any promises, nobody expects anything, it's just about sex."

"Fuck, that's the least romantic thing I've ever heard."

"You should be glad. If I was the romantic type, I might have settled down by now, and then where would you be living, hm?"

Niou's eyes narrowed dangerously, but thankfully the barman brought over their new round, and by the time he'd retreated Niou seemed to have decided not to be insulted. "Well. I suppose we're both learning a lot about each other today, hmm?"

"Apparently so." Yagyuu smoothed down a crease in the label on his beer. Niou had slept with a guy _in high school_. How the hell had Yagyuu not known? Would he have done something about his attraction to Niou, back then, if he'd known? "Does it change how you feel about me?"

Niou frowned, and then waved a hand dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous. How you chose to get your rocks off isn't a big deal, just like I assume how I get _mine_ off isn't to you."

"Alright." Yagyuu thought for a moment. "But please tell me you're having proper sex to get her pregnant, yes?"

"Shut _up yes_ thank you _yes_."

\---

It took a few weeks for Yagyuu to shake a sense of being _watched_ and _judged_ , even just for _thinking_ about going out to have sex with a stranger. He did it anyway, renting a room in a love hotel and hiring a pretty blonde foreign girl to ensure she couldn't possibly remind him of Saki.

It was a relief, even so, to indulge himself. Work had been unusually irritating, and any time he tried to jerk off at home he kept circling back to the idea of Niou and Saki and their toys. Sex, once again, drove the tension from him effectively, and the girl was certainly an expert in her craft.

He tipped her, afterwards, and made a mental promise not to let himself feel guilty about seeking out pleasure again.

\---

"Yagyuu. Yagyuuuu. HIROSHI."

Yagyuu, blearily, opened his bedroom door. "What?"

"It's blue," said Niou, urgently, brandishing something in Yagyuu's face.

Yagyuu tried to focus, but without his glasses it wasn't very effective. "What is?" he asked, after a moment, instead.

"The test."

It clicked. "Oh. Saki's pregnant?"

"YES."

Yagyuu realised he was grinning like an idiot, the same way Niou was. "Oh. That's _wonderful_."

Niou sprang forward unexpectedly, and Yagyuu found himself swamped in a tight, warm embrace. "Fuck, my life is going to be so weird now."

"Yeah." Yagyuu hesitated for a moment, and then wrapped his arms around Niou and hugged him back. Ordinarily, he wouldn't let Niou hug him like this for very long -- too much physical contact just felt like a dangerous habit to get into -- but under the circumstances, Niou could have all the contact he wanted. "You're going to be a dad."

"Ha, you too, don't think you're running out on us all."

A shape approaching down the corridor resolved itself into the blurry set of features that Yagyuu recognised as Saki. "Hey," he said, over Niou's shoulder. "I hear you let this idiot knock you up."

"That's what the little stick I peed on tells me, yes."

Niou, without letting go of Yagyuu, reached out with one arm and pulled Saki -- gently -- into a sort of three-way hug. "Shit, we're gonna have to move the crap out of that spare room."

Yagyuu ruffled Niou's hair, affectionately. "You've got a while left to go. Any idea, um, how pregnant you are?"

"Not yet. More than two weeks, less than four," said Saki. "I'll go see the doctor tomorrow. Today."

Yagyuu blinked, and pulled back a little. "What time _is_ it?"

"3 AM."

"Why the hell are you peeing on a stick at 3 in the morning?"

"Because he wouldn't let me go back to sleep until I did," said Saki, and she sighed, pulling away from under Niou's arm. "I'm going to lie down, Masan. Bring Hiroshi with you if you want, I don't care."

Yagyuu, to his faint horror, felt Niou grasp his shirt as if determined to haul him bodily if necessary. "Wait, wait, wait."

Niou gave him a faintly hurt look. "You're coming with us, don't think you're not."

"Fine, alright, but let me get my glasses, I can't see a thing right now."

Niou and Saki's room was lit only by the lamp on Niou's drawers. Saki had curled up on her side, with the sheets hauled up to her chin and her eyes closed as if she was nearly asleep again already. Niou was sitting up next to her, so close he was almost central in the bed and so far up that he was almost on the pillows, his knees drawn up to his chin and his feet tucked under the top of the sheets. The expression of pride and wonder on his face as he looked down at Saki made Yagyuu feel sort of… intrusive.

"Hey," said Yagyuu, pulling his blanket around his shoulders and sitting at the foot of the bed, on Niou's side.

Niou looked amused, and slid his feet down under the sheets, and gestured to the empty space he'd left next to him. "Get up here, you're not a pet."

Feeling distinctly awkward, Yagyuu did as instructed, so he was sitting next to Niou. He tucked his feet under the edge of the sheet, the way Niou had done. Niou immediately leant against him, resting his head on Yagyuu's shoulder.

"I'm gonna be a dad," he said, quietly, as if he couldn't quite believe it.

Saki made a faint, amused noise from her side of the bed. "Let me check with the doctor before you get too over-excited. It could be a false positive."

Niou's whole body tensed, against Yagyuu's side, and he grabbed hold of Niou's hand, before Niou could say something sharp or annoyed in response. "Hey. It's probably not, those tests are really accurate these days," he said, quickly. "But Saki's right, it's good to double-check."

"...I suppose." Niou squeezed Yagyuu's hand, gratefully.

"You're _very probably_ a dad."

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"At that age, it's probably not either yet, really."

Saki made another amused noise. "No imposing gender roles on the fetus, Masan."

"Excuse me, you're supposed to be sleeping, building up strength to incubate my offspring."

Saki, without opening her eyes, reached out from under the sheet and smacked Niou hard in the arm.

"Ow."

"Serves you right." Saki yawned, and blearily opened one eye. "I really am going to sleep now. If you wake me up before 8am, I will kill you both."

Yagyuu smiled. "I should go, let you _both_ get some sleep."

Niou squeezed his hand again, urgently. "Nuh-uh. You're sleeping in here tonight."

"I don't think that's…"

" _Hiroshi_. This is the most important night of my life so far. There is a child with my face growing inside my wife's stomach. You are not abandoning me so I can get panicked over that thought overnight, you understand me?"

Yagyuu relented. "Alright."

\---

He woke up to find himself encircled in Niou's arms -- the first time Yagyuu could really ever remember waking up in bed with anyone cuddling him -- with Saki snuggled up to Niou's back on the far side. It did very odd things to Yagyuu's mood that day; he kept swinging between feeling so _included_ that it made him grin and feeling vaguely terrified at the realisation that there was going to be a child living in his house within a year. He was effectively useless at work for the first two hours, glancing nervously at his phone and rather glad that nothing too time-dependent needed his attention.

Niou called him, after those two hours, jubilant.

"She's definitely pregnant, nearly 4 weeks, the doctor said. Apparently we should only tell close family for now, some sort of superstition about the first trimester."

Yagyuu smiled down the phone. "Alright. What did your parents say?"

There was a pause. "I haven't called them yet."

"Oh." That sent another little pulse of warmth through Yagyuu, that Niou would call him to reassure him before breaking the news to his own parents. "You should call them, then. But remember to tell your mother not to spread the news around too quickly, alright?"

"Yes, good idea." Niou took a deep, shaky breath. "I wish you were here, though. Saki's fine -- she's looking at the scans with the doctor -- but I swear I'm gonna cry any second now."

"Panicked crying or good crying?"

"A little of both, maybe." Niou inhaled again, loudly. "You're not going to be out late tonight, are you?"

Yagyuu shook his head, before he remembered Niou couldn't actually see him. "No. I'll try and be early, in fact."

"Thanks."

\---

Saki sailed through a three-week bout of morning sickness with surprising amounts of grace and very little patience for Niou's tentatively-expressed concerns about her health.

She marched into Yagyuu's bedroom one morning, soon after the sickness abated, and sat without ceremony on the end of the bed. Yagyuu -- who'd been only just awake -- blearily propped himself up, wondering what had brought this on.

"Masan and I were talking about you last night," she said, folding her hands together, over her stomach. "So, a question: do you want your own child someday?"

Yagyuu frowned, and picked up his glasses, feeling distinctly vulnerable with his face bare. "I… haven't really planned that sort of life."

"Would you want one with me?"

"...shit, are you actually suggesting what I think you are?"

"I don't mean -- there are methods, you wouldn't have to _sleep_ with me, Hiroshi. Masan said he doesn't think you ever want to have a wife, so maybe you've not thought about children. But it's something you _might_ want, and -- anyway. It was a thought, and Masan would be okay with it, and that's all I wanted to say."

Yagyuu put his glasses on. "That is an extraordinary offer."

"Well." Saki glanced down at her belly, not visibly swollen yet. "I wouldn't agree to carry another child right away, of course. So you have time to think about it."

"Thank you." Yagyuu felt that was sort of inadequate, but he had no idea what else to say.

Saki looked up at him, through her lashes. "It's not a selfless offer. You… you _could_ leave us. If this baby gets too much for you, or if we fought with you over something, there's nothing _really_ we could do to persuade you to stay. Masan would fall apart if we had to go back to a flat like the old one, with a child."

Yagyuu leant back against the pillow. "And a child of my own would make me stay."

"Bluntly, yes. A child with your blood would tie you to me, to us."

"I can see why Niou married you." It came out sharper than he'd intended. "You'd offer me anything to protect him, and that child."

"It's also to protect you, you know," she said, softly. "You're important, too."

"I--" and, unexpectedly, there was a lump in his throat. "I'm here. You don't have to offer me a child to make me stay. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, and stood up again. "Even so. The offer's open, indefinitely, if you change your mind."

"But you really don't have to--"

"I know." She stood in the doorway, and smiled back at it. "That's why it's open."

\---

Yagyuu felt restless the next day, and decided to visit his usual hookup bar after work; he rebuffed a few offers good-naturedly, not quite sure what he was looking for but not quite tempted enough by the usual smooth-faced and over-groomed young _professionals_ who were the bulk of the options that early in the evening.

And then Niou poked his head in through the door, clearly seeking him out, and Yagyuu nearly choked on his beer.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, as lightly as possible, as Niou slid into the seat next to him at the bar. "Shouldn't you be with your wife?"

"She's out with her mother."

"Ah -- and how did you even _find_ this place?"

Niou grinned. "Followed you here a few times, a while back. I might need to hunt you down in a hurry someday, so I scoped out your haunts just in case. Ah, two beers please," he said to the barman, smiling. "Look, if you want me to piss off so you can get laid, I will, but we never go out drinking any more, you know."

"We can go back to our old bar. _Here's_ not really a place people come to talk."

"Yeah? Lucky I've never really thought of myself as _people_." Niou looked around the bar. "Anyone in here you've hooked up with? Kinda curious about your type, honestly."

"I'll point one out if you tell me who it was you slept with in high school."

"Yukimura." Niou pulled a tight, wry little smile. "It's why I dropped out of the team. Right then, your turn."

" _Yukimura?_ "

"Yep." Niou picked up his beer. "On and off, for maybe two or three months, just before he decided he was going pro. We had a fight, broke up, he pissed off to Spain for a training camp, I quit tennis in a huff." He took a swig, and gestured towards a small group of boys in the corner. "Him, the one with the green jacket, with the sexy mouth?"

"Yes." Yagyuu glanced over. "And the tall one with the perm, too."

"Yeah? He's not bad, good legs." Niou sniffed. "They regulars here, then?"

"They're prostitutes, really." Niou's eyes widened, as if startled, and Yagyuu elaborated. "Well, they wouldn't call themselves that. But they expect money in return for sex, even if it's not quite as _direct_ as hiring a woman somewhere would be."

"Huuuh."

"You asked."

"I did, and yet, I sort of wish I hadn't." Niou glanced back over, then took a long gulp from his bottle. "Not to go all Dad this early on, but you do use protection when you fuck disease vectors like that, right?"

Yagyuu, halfway through taking a mouthful of his own beer, nearly choked.

"Ah, nice to know I can still make you do that." Niou grinned. "You know, I used to wonder if I missed out, by getting married so young. But coming here… nah, I don't think I did. C'mon, let's drink up, go somewhere a little less… ripe."

\---

Saki lost the baby, in the third month of her pregnancy.

Yagyuu was with her, buying groceries, when she complained of sudden cramping pains and feeling faint. He called Niou, from the ambulance, and they sat silently in the waiting room of the hospital together, Niou's hand clutching Yagyuu's desperately.

The doctor patiently explained that they'd be keeping Saki in the ward for an hour or so more to run tests, then she'd go see a counsellor and that Niou could join her in the counselling if Saki asked for him to. They'd nodded, more to indicate that they had heard than anything else, and then the doctor had left them in her tiny office and Niou had just stared into space. Yagyuu could have handled tears, he thought, not this blankness. He held Niou's hand silently, wishing he knew what he could possibly say.

They got home, many hours later, in the back of a taxi. Numbly, Niou had ushered his wife out and into the house, and they had slumped together onto the sofa, hands clasped together as if just to be sure the other one was still there.

Yagyuu, with effort, pulled himself together, and went upstairs. He pulled the door to the baby room closed. It wasn't like they'd bought anything for the baby, yet, but the room had been cleared ready to be furnished, and the sight of it might be painful. He could deal with it another time, perhaps. For now, he collected all the bedding from both their beds and hauled it downstairs.

Saki was curled up on the sofa, with Niou's arms wrapped quite firmly around her, both of them looking tired and bleak. Yagyuu dumped the bedding on the floor unceremoniously.

"Right, you two. Get down here."

Niou stared at him for a moment, and then he nodded, and carefully helped Saki down so they were lying on the comforter. Yagyuu sat on the other side of Saki, arranged the other blankets over them, and then took Niou's hand in his, across Saki's stomach. 

Saki turned towards him. Yagyuu pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "It'll be alright. I promise."

Niou made a soft noise of agreement, from behind Saki, and then shuffled so he was pressed close against Saki's back. "I love you," he murmured, into her hair, so softly Yagyuu almost couldn't hear him.

Saki bowed her head forward, against Yagyuu's shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, almost in a sob.

"It's not your fault," Yagyuu said, quickly, and he let go of Niou's hand so he could brush the hair back from Saki's face, and kissed her forehead again. "It's okay. You'll try again. And it'll be _fine_."

He put his hand back on Saki's side, and Niou's fingers slid under his immediately. Yagyuu squeezed, and bent his head so his forehead pressed against Saki's again.

"I promise. It'll be fine."

\---

The next day, it was all Yagyuu could do to persuade either Niou and Saki to eat. He called their workplaces and explained that a family emergency had come up, and that none of them could work. Niou and Saki didn't stir from under the blankets as he did so, and Yagyuu, after considering his options, rejoined them and wrote the day off to mourning the baby and holding Saki as she cried fitfully. Niou cried too, burying his face in Saki's hair. Yagyuu nearly wished the tears would come to his own eyes, just on the chance it might make the crushing weight in his chest dissipate a little.

The morning after that, Saki resumed a sort of normality. Yagyuu watched her, thoughtfully, as she bustled around the kitchen in the early morning. It was a very _determined_ sort of busyness, but he thought perhaps it was as useful a coping mechanism as any other.

Niou was sprawled out in the blanket bed on the floor, still half-asleep, one arm thrown over his head. Yagyuu poked him with a toe, from his seat on the sofa.

"Coffee," he said, and Niou made a mumbled noise of assent and rolled over.

"Are you going into work today, Masan?" Saki asked, from the kitchen.

"Mm," Niou stretched, and opened his eyes. "Not sure. Are you?"

"This morning I might. I've an appointment with the counsellor later, at the hospital."

Niou looked up at Yagyuu, and pulled an _I don't know what to do_ face. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"I--"

The doorbell rang, startling them all. Yagyuu got up to answer it, after a moment where they all hesitated.

It was Yumiko.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, too tired to muster up a polite greeting. "This really isn't the best time."

"Hiroshi-san, what a pleasure as always." She pushed past him, and bent to take her shoes off. "Saki, I need to borrow a dress for today and I--"

She stared at Niou, still furled in blankets on the floor, and then over at Saki, standing in the kitchen. They all looked awful; Saki hadn't yet showered, and her hair was a tangled and greasy mess, her face slightly swollen from the previous day's avalanche of tears. Niou was little better, unshaven and sleep-creased, and Yagyuu suddenly itched with the awareness of his _own_ filthiness, sweat and tears dried on his skin from the past two days.

Saki stared at Yumiko, and then Yagyuu _saw_ Saki try to fight down her emotions again, tears springing to her eyes. "Um. Good morning."

"What happened?" Yumiko asked, and she looked from Saki to Yagyuu, obviously confused.

Yagyuu grabbed her by the elbow, and hauled her outside unceremoniously, letting the door slam shut behind them. "I said, this is _not_ a good time."

She glared at him, like a reflex, and then her face melted from anger to horrified realisation. "Oh, oh no, no no, Saki -- it's the baby, isn't it? Something's wrong."

Yagyuu stared at her, wordless.

She scowled, and thumped him hard in the centre of his chest with her bag. " _Tell me_. What happened? Is Saki alright?"

"The baby's gone," he managed.

Her hands flew up to cover her mouth. " _Oh._ "

"I… we're coping. But she needs _privacy_ , do you understand?"

Yumiko nodded mutely, hands still over her mouth.

"I'm going to go back in there, and you're going to go away, and Saki will call you when she is ready to pretend to be normal again, or when she needs to talk, or whatever she decides." Yagyuu took a deep breath. "I don't know when that's going to be. But… just go away, please."

Yumiko nodded again, and dropped her hands down to her chest. "Um. Can I tell her work? They won't pester her to come back too fast if they know."

"No. She'll tell them herself if she wants."

"...okay. Can you -- tell her I'm sorry?"

" _Go away._ "

She nodded, and stood there with her head bowed for a second before turning and walking away. Yagyuu leant against the door for a moment, feeling the tears that hadn't come the day before welling up inside him. _Fuck_. He thumped once, on the now-locked door, and Niou opened it a few seconds later.

"She's gone," Yagyuu said. "Is Saki okay?"

"I think she's decided work might not be possible today." Niou shrugged, and scratched at the patchy stubble on his jaw. "Maybe tomorrow. But she's in the shower. That's good, right?"

It wasn't until half an hour later -- as he folded the blankets up to take them back upstairs, in an attempt to continue this pretense of normality -- that Yagyuu noticed Yumiko had left her shoes behind, in the entranceway. He stared at them; petite, delicate heels that Saki might wear herself. He'd made a woman walk home barefoot.

He snorted, and left them where they were.

\---

Yagyuu woke up in the middle of the night, a few weeks later. He could hear faint, whispered conversation from Niou and Saki's room. At least it wasn't an argument, from the sound of it.

Without really thinking about it, he got up and padded over to their door. A dim light shone out from under the bottom edge; they weren't even pretending to be trying to sleep, then.

"--not the right time," Saki was saying, softly.

"It never is," Niou whispered back, his tone sharp. "Is this enough? What if--"

Yagyuu pushed the door open, and Niou and Saki both turned startled expressions towards him. He pulled an apologetic expression. "I heard voices. Insomnia again?"

Niou stared at him, and then coughed, looking irritated. " _Hiroshi_. We could have been, uh, you know. You can't just walk in this room like that."

Yagyuu shrugged. "You have a lock, as I remember. And I -- you two haven't _uh, you knowed_ since -- well, you haven't, anyway, I'm pretty sure. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

Niou cast an accusing look towards Saki, as if Yagyuu would have needed Saki to _tell_ him that there'd been no sex between them since the miscarriage. Yagyuu didn't know if Saki hadn't wanted it, or if Niou hadn't, or if it was mutual, but it was _noticeable_ in how chastely the two of them interacted now.

"The counsellor said it was normal," said Saki, looking ashamed. "Part of the grieving process."

"And it's none of _his_ business anyway," Niou said, to her, and then scowled at Yagyuu. "Fuck's sake. I haven't noticed _you_ slipping off to your seedy little haunts, either."

"No." Yagyuu had to admit, he'd felt too drained to want sex, even knowing it would make him feel good for a while. Just the idea of making an effort to _get_ sex was exhausting. "Work and you two, that's all I have time for right now. Nothing else is important."

Niou's expression softened. "Oh."

"Do you guys want me to -- I don't know. I could go away for a couple of nights, let you have time to be romantic again? Or you could go away, maybe that would be better."

Saki looked over at Niou, and then she shrugged. "I--maybe."

"Which?"

"I don't know."

Niou rolled his eyes. "Alright. We'll go somewhere, this weekend. I'm sick of the city, anyway."

\---

Yagyuu, left to his own for a weekend, spent one day cleaning the house thoroughly, right down to the tatami mats. He cleaned out the fridge and restocked it carefully; he scrubbed down the bathroom tiles; he even wiped down all the windows and mirrors.

The other day he spent a large chunk of in a love hotel in Shinjuku; he took one of the smooth-faced young men there, first of all, and had him fuck him in the bathtub, water slopping out over the sides and onto the floor. The scent of cheap wet woods and jasmine oils, combined with the heat of the water, made him feel dizzy. It made the whole experience feel rather unreal and dreamy, and despite his entreaties to the boy to go faster and harder, it took Yagyuu a while to reach a drawn-out, languid climax.

Less than an hour afterwards, itchy for more, he phoned an agency for an escort, a slightly hard-faced older woman who cost a little more than his usual choices but who turned out to be worth it; she tied his hands together with one of her stockings and then rode him with convincing eagerness and throaty gasps of pleasure, tightening in apparent climax around him just before he reached his own orgasm. Delighted by the idea of causing genuine pleasure in her, he rolled her onto her back and slid his fingers into her instead, curling them and stroking at her with his thumb until she cried out and clenched around him again. He tipped her generously, and left the hotel grinning in satisfaction.

That afternoon, his blood heated anew by slow flirtation in another bar, he jerked off a handsome older salaryman in a nightclub toilet, one hand clamped over the man's mouth as he pushed him up against the cubicle wall. The man kissed him afterwards, unhurriedly and sloppily, and Yagyuu marvelled that the slide of mouth against mouth felt more intimate than the sex had.

At home afterwards, feeling flushed and sated and _alive_ for the first time in nearly a month, he devoured one of the shop-bought dinner trays he'd bought the previous day and let himself fall asleep on the sofa, wondering when Niou and Saki would come home.

\---

Yagyuu woke when Niou landed with a thud on top of him.

"We're home," Niou announced, from somewhere in the region of Yagyuu's chest. "Fuck, man, you stink."

Yagyuu heaved himself up onto his elbows. Shit, he hadn't showered since leaving the bar, he probably did still smell of smoke and sex and alcohol. "Good trip?"

"Yep." Niou grinned up at him, the _smugness_ visible even though Yagyuu's eyes weren't focusing properly yet. "And thank _you_ , we found your little addition to our luggage when we got to the hotel."

"I have no idea what you could be talking about," Yagyuu said, primly, and then grinned back as he picked up his glasses. He'd snuck two of the toys from Niou's drawers into Saki's suitcase, on the theory that at least it might remind them why they'd gone away. "Well. Where is your wife, then?"

"Bathroom, she's been whining about needing it since Odawara." Niou lifted himself up off Yagyuu, and stretched. "We bought a bottle of umeshu, so I hope you're ready to get tipsy in a bit. Saki's orders."

"...alright?" Yagyuu nudged Niou with his knee, and Niou shifted so that Yagyuu could swing his legs down and sit up. "I think you're right though, I'll take a shower first."

"Mm, good plan."

They knelt around their low table together, later. Saki filled Yagyuu's glass up until it was nearly brimming over, then did the same for her own and for Niou's.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about getting tipsy," Yagyuu said to Niou, squinting at his glass. "What's the occasion?"

"Uh." Niou flushed, unexpectedly. "Um. Shit, Saki, you take this, will you?"

Saki nodded, and put down the bottle. "We missed you, this weekend, Hiroshi."

Yagyuu squinted at her. "You were only gone two days, don't be silly."

"Still." She shook her head. "We wished that -- I... Masan, I don't know what to say."

Niou sighed. "She means that we kept thinking about what it would have been like to have you there with us, up at the onsen. It was beautiful there, peaceful and calm and romantic; there was a bath with a view over the mountains, and we booked it to ourselves, and it was wonderful." 

"And we talked," said Saki. "We sat there together and talked about how we wished you had come with us."

Yagyuu looked from Niou to Saki and back, not quite sure how to react. "Oh."

Niou picked up his drink, and took a sip. "You went out earlier to hook up, right? At that bar you go to?"

"I did," admitted Yagyuu, slowly.

Niou took a longer drink, and then set his glass down. "And you, what, went off with one of those guys, and paid him for sex. _Uncomplicated_ , just like you like."

"I'm not going to apologise for having--"

"Of course not, you're entitled to want sex and if that's how you get it then _whatever_. But my point is, the thing is, what we -- what Saki and I want here, isn't uncomplicated. It's awkward and weird and _fuck_ , I don't even know how to ask for it."

Yagyuu looked down at the table, at his lap, his hands folded on top of each other and twitching with uncertainty. "What _do_ you want?"

"You," said Saki, and she put her hand on top of Yagyuu's. "That's what we want."

He looked up at her, unable to think past the rushing of blood in his ears, and she shrugged.

"It's true. You're as much a part of this marriage as Masan and I are, and it's time we _said_ that out loud instead of assuming you just _know_."

Niou slumped backwards, against the sofa. "Ahh, hearing it out loud sounds so weird. But she's right."

"I--" Yagyuu stared at his drink, then pushed it away from him. "What do you expect me to say?"

"I dunno." Niou shifted, and pulled his knees up to his chin, hugging himself. "I don't even know whether I want anything to change, really. I mean, _sex_ , fuck, it's not like Saki and I haven't talked about that before, but who knows how you'd feel about that, or how it'd work outside, y'know, fantasy."

Yagyuu's hands started to shake, and Saki's fingers curled around his comfortingly.

Niou's gaze flicked up to meet Yagyuu's, and then he dropped his gaze back down to the table, clutching his knees against himself tightly. "But… I want to you to know that it's how we think about you, at least. As _ours_."

"Nnn." Yagyuu squeezed Saki's hand. "And you?"

Saki shrugged, and let go, straightening her spine. "I love you. Maybe a little less than Masan does, though."

"Oh." Yagyuu looked over at Niou. "And if I said yes? That I felt the same way? That for you two, I wouldn't care _how_ weird and complicated it all was?"

Niou uncurled a little. "Do you want us _physically_ , too, then?" 

"Yes. I've spent a long time wanting you both, and…"

Niou nearly knocked all the glasses over, from the speed at which he moved to kiss Yagyuu. His mouth tasted like the plum wine, sweet and smoky and rich, and Yagyuu slid his hands up Niou's back to pull him in close.

They only pulled apart when Saki coughed, pointedly.

"Do I get a turn?" she asked, looking amused. 

\---

Yumiko smiled up sweetly at Yagyuu, and the photographer took the photo.

"Great," he pronounced, a few moments later, after fiddling with his camera for a while. "I'll send that over later."

Yagyuu relaxed, and wrinkled his nose at Yumiko. "I'm glad I'm not actually going to marry you. Do you even know how to tie an obi at all?"

"Ah yes, Saki did tell me you were a fussy bastard." Yumiko winked at him, and then tugged downwards at the neck of her kimono. "It's not going to be noticeable from the front, on camera."

"That's not the point--"

"It _is_ , actually. Now we've got that picture to send our folks, I'm going to get the hell out of these stupid clothes."

Yagyuu watched her march off determinedly in search of somewhere to get changed. "Your wife's friend is _awful_ ," he remarked, and Niou snorted, hopping down from the fence he'd perched on while the 'happy couple' posed under the cherry blossoms in their formalwear.

"And yet, I think she's the only woman other than Saki you even like enough to talk to. Maybe you should actually marry her."

Yagyuu raised a disapproving eyebrow at Niou, who laughed and then stepped up to Yagyuu's side, slipping his arm around Yagyuu's waist.

"Nah, alright, you're right, I'd hate to have _another_ person move in with us. It'd make it a lot harder to fuck if we had to be discreet at home too," Niou said, grinning conspiratorially as he leaned in. "And there's no way we'd let you move out."

Yagyuu turned and began straightening the front of Niou's yukata, slipping his hand inside and letting his fingertips trail down Niou's chest as he smoothed the inner fabric so it lay flatter. "Then don't make stupid jokes. You'll only encourage her."

"Mm," said Niou, catching at Yagyuu's hand. "Tsk, we're in public."

"And now we've gotten that picture to prove I'm actually here with Yumiko, we _could_ go back to the ryokan, let the girls wander some more without us," Yagyuu suggested, and used his free hand to slide the knot on Niou's belt over to the right. "Your yukata really does need proper readjusting, you know."

"I'm fairly certain you're going to make it worse before it gets better," Niou murmured, leaning in even closer and lowering his voice into a purr. "Let me text Saki, then, so she can divert Yumiko."

"Mm."

The previous night, Niou'd left a trail of lovebites up the inside of Yagyuu's thighs, claiming that just knowing they were _there_ under Yagyuu's yukata would be enough to keep him on edge all day. Saki'd laughed, and had left _her_ mark on Yagyuu's chest, instead.

This time, Niou bit at Yagyuu's _neck_ , multiple times.

"Hm," said Yagyuu afterwards, inspecting the damage. "It's not enough that you scratched up my knees on the tatami, you also had to bite me right where I can't cover it with my yukata. Amazing."

Niou smirked at him, sprawled out on the futon. "It'll be faded enough by the time you need to go back to work. And while we're here, I'm pretty fucking okay with everyone knowing you're _taken_."

"I swear you're an actual teenager." Yagyuu sighed, and joined Niou on the futon. "You don't mark Saki like this."

"She's wearing a wedding ring, though, it's the same thing. Sort of."

"Are you _actually_ comparing hickeys to a wedding ring? _Really_?"

Niou laughed, and then stroked Yagyuu's neck gently with a finger. "It's also _hot_."

"Weirdo." Yagyuu lay back on the futon, and Niou immediately wrapped around him like a warm, slightly sweaty limpet.

"Mm, maybe." Niou took Yagyuu's hand, and brought it up to his lips in a kiss. "You know, Saki and I were thinking about seriously trying again."

"Trying?" It took a moment for Yagyuu to connect, and then it clicked. "Oh. Is she… is she ready for that?"

"I think so." Niou squeezed Yagyuu's hand. "So, er. We're both going to be trying, for what it's worth."

"What do you mean, _both_?"

"You and me."

Yagyuu stared at Niou. "You want me to stop wearing condoms with her? That's what you mean?"

"Yes. I don't care if it's yours or mine, really." Niou smiled, softly, and then wrapped his arm around Yagyuu again. "It'll be _ours_."

Yagyuu stared up at the ceiling. A child, half Saki's, and half either his or Niou's. Everyone would think it was Niou's, regardless, and unless they tested to verify the paternity, he doubted any of them would ever know for sure. _Theirs_.

He closed his eyes, overwhelmed. "Yes. Ours."

Niou's hand closed over his. "Dibs on being the cool Dad."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think this is the sort of fic I would normally write at all -- pregnancy and prominent female OCs, what the hell -- but it seemed rather determined to force its way out of my head once I started writing.


End file.
